What worked for Len was creating the follow in his life:
1. The importance of feeling useful and of service.
2. The importance of music and singing as your nerves burn.
3. The importance of buying a new couch or bed. Gestures of re-creating oneself.
4. The importance of meeting new people who inspire and uplift.
5. The importance of learning how to ask for help and creating a support team.
6. The importance of spending more time with younger people.
7. The importance of balancing work and self-healing- a different time management.
8. The importance of honoring the deceased in an effort to move on.
9. The importance of being in nature.
10. The importance of doing more hosting.
11. The importance of using dance, massage and human contact opportunities.
12. The importance of giving up blame, shame, guilt and gelding.
13. The importance of exposing oneself to theater, art and comedy.
14. The importance of knowing a joke to tell at a party.
15. The importance of letting the sound of other voices soothe you and improve your listening.
16. The importance of exercise, physicality, animals.
17. The importance of declaring a place of peace and calm; perhaps creating a greater spiritual practice.
18. The importance of taking chances when you can’t possibly lose what you have already lost.
19. The importance of taking opportunities to tell your story as part of the self-healing process.
20. The importance of being open to change, time and comfort.
21. The importance of creating a new life where one creates a stronger sense of self.
22. The importance of understanding bewilderment, fear, dread – post-traumatic images and voices put into context.
23. The importance of re-directing anguish.
Every webisode has the same principle, which is to give grieving viewers coping strategies to learn and embody as well as give information to those assisting whether friends or family.
Len’s Grief Challenges.
- Waking in fear at 4am, hearing her low screams, wiping blood and calling 911
- From the home to the hospital and back
- My emotions as tidal waves , my nerves as hot wires
- Twenty five times , dreams of my father, integrating before going outside
- The tumbling car, out of phase with everyone else
- Bewilderment, fear and dread
- Chemical imbalance, seeing doctor, getting numbers on my tests
- Post traumatic stress – last days’ images
- Finding safe havens, refuges to deal with grief
- Nothing is more surreal than death…conversing with the deceased
- Sleep cycles and being overwhelmed
- At the job site while grieving
- Socializing and being alone…finding balance
- Being the unmarried one among married friends
- Avoiding and confronting people places and things that trigger grief
- Relating to the grief of other family members
- Delegating and re-negotiating all that the deceased used to do
- Stages of loneliness…how it changes
- Not being physically touched as often
- Not being a safe married person to your single attractive friends
- Dealing with anniversary dates and other dates that trigger you
- Dealing with being the center of attention at an event and then going home alone
- Creating a spiritual practice, a response to starkness
- Hyper moments of ultra-intense adrenalin
- Where is the darkness when one looks directly at it